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If this picture isn’t an inspiration for all my fellow men of stature, I don’t know what is. This makes me feel really bad about my eating choices, but if Joe Thomas can do it, we can too. But I’ll start that diet after this pizza.

Haloti Ngata goes out on top

Veteran defensive lineman Haloti Ngata retired after 13 years. The long-time Raven literally went out on top of the world, announcing his retirement from Mt. Kilimanjaro, Africa’s tallest mountain. No player can top this unless they retire from the top of Mount Everest, which I hope someone will do one day.

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Dirk Nowitzki passes Wilt Chamberlain

Dirk Nowitzki passed Wilt Chamberlain for sixth place on the NBA’s all-time scoring list Monday night. Wilt, however, still managed to score more than Dirk off the court.

Carlos Santana is not a fan of Fortnite

Things are great now for the Phillies after signing Bryce Harper, but things got pretty ugly last September after losing their ninth straight game. Carlos Santana saw his teammates playing Fortnite within the clubhouse and was so irate he took a bat and smashed a TV. That’s a complete new stage of rage quitting. Not easy in any respect.

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On at the present time

Bruce Willis turns 64 at the moment. He’s remembered for the basic Christmas film Die Arduous.

Subsequent: Enter SI’s Actual-time Bracket Problem 2019 Right here

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